Hand in hand.....

Day 5 of my 365 day blog challenge.

Today was a Mommy and Nathan day. Karen was busy so Nathan and I spent the whole day together. We are a very fortunate family who have always spent so much time together. So when we have the opportunity to have one on one time with our son, we get very excited. Today was our day. We spent some of our day getting our cousin Christine from the airport who is here studying at SFU (yay). But for most of the day it was just the two of us. We went to Granville Island to the kids market. We laughed, we played, we held hands walking around. I said to Nathan "son you don't have to hold mommies hand". His response "it's okay mommy I want to". It melted my heart. But that's not hard to do considering he had my heart the day he took his first breathe.

Growing up I always knew that I wanted to be a mom. I wasn't sure how that was going to happen (stating the obvious here) I just knew that I never wanted to be pregnant. Then I met Karen and well everything changed. Before Karen got pregnant with Nathan, I tried for almost a year. After months of trying I was told that I couldn't get pregnant......devastating! Some thoughts I had were: what if Karen gets pregnant will I feel as if this child were my own? Would he/she love me? After taking a few months off Karen tried. We did exactly the same routine of checking the stick every time we tried. Karen would do the test. After about 5 minute's we would walk into the bathroom holding hands and look. Month after month for the next 4 months we would do the same routine with the same result, negative! April fools day in 2005 something magical happened. We waited 5 minutes for the result. We walked in hand in hand and looked at the stick.....negative. As we embraced each other crying I turned around and noticed the positive symbol coming up.....PREGNANT!! We screamed and cried and from that very moment I knew that my love for someone would never be the same.

November 28 2005 I held him in my arms while he took his first breathe. While I embraced him, kissing him I had this overwhelming feeling of a deep love that I've never felt before. Nathan Edward Di Venanzo. Such a strong name for such a little baby boy.

Today was special. I feel so blessed to have such a gift in my life. A kind gentle soul who continues to teach me each passing day. A little boy who has taught me how unconditional love truly feels. He has taught me that it's not okay to lose my cool. He has taught me that no matter how much you love your spouse, Nathan always gets the first kiss in the morning. He has also taught me that it's okay to feel down for a minute but to pick yourself back up because you have a little boy waiting to play.

I have never doubted for a second that Nathan isn't my son. I didn't have to give birth to him for us to have a deep connection. We've had it since the day he was conceived. I am his mommy and he is my son. We will always walk hand in hand.

Thanks for reading. Giving thanks.